VVI-Pee
I just couldn’t help myself and had to comment on Paris Hilton’s experience in Beirut. Of course someone of her calbre had her own VVIP section at the Forum de Beyrouth, but the organizers forgot one thing:
A VVIP area she may have had. A VVIP toilet she didn’t, which made a bathroom run nothing short of a mission. They say girls go in pairs. Paris went with a pack.
An entourage of about eight were escorted to the bathroom (which was emptied of "normal" people first) while muscled security guards created two human walls, forming a corridor allowing her to get to the door.
What I would have paid to see that! Well, actually not as much as people actually paid to be there:
People paying up to $150 (Dh550.50) a ticket were expecting American Boy singer Estelle but were informed on the night the London-born songstress was unable to attend due to "political and security" issues.
Could this be a Gad Elmaleh scenario all over again? Is Estelle a former member of the Shin Bet?
Of course, the party was saved from beyond the grave:
It was Michael Jackson who really stole the show as the crowd was treated to a musical medley of songs from every album he created. Looking up at the stars as hit after hit began and people screamed for their favourites, from Keep it in the Closet to Thriller, the night was given a new lease of life.
No Estelle, Paris on her platform (when she wasn’t on the bathroom run), leaving it to Jackson who once again saved the day.
Dearborn is Beirut
This time I’ll be handing myself a "Looks Like Beirut" Certificate:
Sabastian Restum, 40, appeared in U.S. District Court in Detroit today charged with witness tampering. U.S. Magistrate Judge Mona Majzoub ordered Restum jailed until a detention hearing scheduled for Wednesday.
Details about a "hit" Restum allegedly put out on Wayne County Assistant Prosecutor Abed Hammoud are contained in an FBI affidavit that backs up the witness tampering complaint.
I know Dearborn was the Arab capital of the US but I had no idea how integrated they were into society; you’ve got a judge, a prosecutor and the alleged criminal. And not only that, the article also has the Lebanese village spirit intertwined:
"The ‘hit’ was to be executed when Hammoud next traveled to Lebanon, where he was born and where some of his family resides," the affidavit says. Restum told the man that he and Hammoud were from the same village in Lebanon, and "Hammoud would be killed even if he had only a day left to live."
You’re never far away from home, I guess.
“Like Beirut” But Down Under
We’ve got our first Austrialian recipient of the Looks Like Beirut Certificate:
Victoria Police deputy commissioner Ken Lay said the mangled wreckage from the two-car collision at Lynbrook left no doubt in his mind.
"There’s absolutely no doubt, looking at the scene yesterday it was like a scene from Beirut," he told Radio 3AW.
Absolutely no doubt about it. It couldn’t look like anything else.
For instance, there is no way it could look like this scene from Abu Dhabi:
Or this accident from the US:
Or this one from China:
Here’s my point: car accidents are the norm across the planet. Speed kills and I have seen this first hand in Dubai. So to compare the scene to Beirut just shows how ill-informed people are. A LLB Certificate should change that.
Rugby’s Rough-Up
We all know that rugby is a pretty tough sport, but apparently its just as tough in between quarters:
A mass brawl between players of the UAE Falcons and Liban Espoir of Lebanon in the Rugby League resulted in the match being abandoned.
Similarily to our incident with the Syrian football team, we were losing:
The UAE team led 16-6 when the referee said enough was enough.
Too bad the game was played in the UAE. Had the match taken place in Lebanon, we would have been able to use our weapons to ensure our rights (or something like that). A rematch is scheduled for tonight.
Breaking News – 05:15pm GMT
Skirmishes between Hariri and Berri supporters in Aicha Bakkar.
Special Forces brought in to restore calm.
Update 1: Fighting intensifying with RPGs used (National News Agency)
Update 2: One killed and 6 injured (Voice of Lebanon Radio) / One killed, 3 injured (OTV)
Update 3: Clashes spreading to Mar Elias district (Al Arabiya News)
Update 4: Army ordered to fire on all gunmen (New TV)
Update 5: Voice of Lebanon Radio is reporting that calm has been restored through the Army’s intervention.
“Before You Die, You See The Ring”
That’s actually the tagline for the 2002 movie, The Ring.The Lebanese Army is working on a similar one along the lines of: pick up the phone that rings and you could rot in a Lebanese prison:
The Lebanese army is warning people not to respond to recorded phone messages asking for information about missing Israeli soldiers.
…
An army statement said Saturday that the messages were a violation of Lebanese sovereignty. It said any response would be considered “clear collaboration” with Israel.
"Cleaer collaboration" means a one-way ticket to military court. So be warned.
Of course there is a slight problem with the fact that these calls are originating from countries other than Israel, particularly the UK so you if you don’t have friends and family in London, I wouldn’t answer that phone. Unless its a potential recruiter, since you probably can’t find a decent job in Lebanon so you’ve flood every single country on the planet with your CV, and this just might be your lucky break. What do you do?!?
Beirut Comment Still Raw
A 2008 comment by a city manager comparing the former Beacon Light apartment complex has now ticked off a fellow Arab:
The owner of the former Beacon Light apartment complex took issue with Henderson City Manager Ray Griffin having once said the land and structures were akin to photos of the old war zones of Beirut.
"We couldn’t find any place in the United States to make [a] similarity between this condition and my property?" Sharif Abdelhalim told the Henderson City Council at a Monday evening meeting. "Why is this Beirut?"
"I think everybody got the impression that, "What is this? This guy is a terrorist? Let us demolish his property’," Abdelhalim said.
Now there’s a dangerous cocktail — Arab (=terrorist), building owner (=authority), Beirut comparison (=destruction) — that can only spell one thing: BOOM. Though I must say, its quite lame to play the terrorist card. I mean the place is a dump.
Despite the fact the original comment had been made before this website even existed, I believe Ray Griffin is in need of an LLB Certificate. Actually, he also needs a book on similes and metaphors:
Griffin[...]also said the weeds at Beacon Light were as tall as Councilwoman Mary Emma Evans.
Ray is as original as a used car.
